The Onion
Senior Contributing Video Writer,
Podcast Headline Contributor
Video Headlines + Scripts
Nation's Mothers Describe How Nice It Would Be If You Lived Closer
Concerned Elderly Constituent Asks Congresswoman At Town Hall If She Seeing Anyone
Video Scripts
Men Fired In Wake Of #MeToo Come Forward About How It Took Them Several Hours To Find New Jobs
Man Keeps Memory Of Dead Teen Alive By Making Her Center Of Elaborate Political Conspiracy Theory
Video & “The Topical” Podcast Headlines
As If Things Weren’t Bad Enough, Snakes Still Slithering Around Out There
Arctic’s Rapid Thawing Not Helped By Todd, A Guy Up There Rubbing His Warm Body All Over The Ice
Report: More Women Quitting Their Jobs To Pursue Lying Face Down On The Floor
Idiot Tornado Tears Harmlessly Through Empty Field
Senate Approves New Oil Pipeline To Run Through Wild Bison
Comic Con To Host Special Panel On Controlling Perspiration While Holding Hands
Nintendo Unveils New Controller Designed To Be Chucked Across A Room
Area Man Reports Ziploc Bag Just As Good As Wallet
Is It Ethical For Prenatal Testing To Tell You If Your Baby Will Be Too Annoying To Love?